Over the past 6 months or so there have been a TON of comments about how fantastic Hunter and Boo are going to be as older siblings. Some of the things we have heard are:
“Oh Boo will love to help won’t she?”
“They are both so responsible, you have live in babysitters!”
“Have you taught Boo how to change diapers?”
“I bet you can’t wait for a free night, the kids will watch Slash!”
No, No, No
Slash is not my children’s child. At all.
Slash is not my children’s responsibility. Not ever.
Slash is mine and Hubby’s child. Period.
Slash is mine and Hubby’s responsibility.
End of story.
I am not a “Oh there are TONS of people here, let’s ignore the kids” type of parent.
Hubby isn’t either.
While we do not mind have our children want to help, they are not the ones that need to do the work, the time and the love to raise their baby brother.
Let me paint a picture for you.
We know people, I can’t even call them friends at this point, that are married and have two kids. One is 12 the other is 3.
Guess who watches the 3 year old at LEAST 75% of the time.
Not the parents.
Guess who gets in trouble if the 3 year old is not behaving, not acting in the way the parents feel he should or has a temper tantrum.
Not the parents, the 12 year old.
We spent time with them for the last time a few weeks ago, and it was painful to watch. The 12 year old was the one that got in the pool with the 3 year old in a busy hotel pool, as they walked away for almost 15 minutes.
WALKED AWAY from their 12 year old and 3 year old in a BUSY HOTEL POOL.
Nope. Never gonna happen.
They didn’t even ask me or Hubby to watch them, keep an eye on them…just walked away.
Not at all okay in my mind.
Yes, Boo is giddy about the thought of changing her brothers diaper (she is sort of strange like that) and has been practising on her cousin since she came home from the hospital 8 months ago. She is excited to help me where she can, but we have had the talk many times that she is a child, and will continue to be a child. She is not the parent, is not in charge of what goes on, Hubby and I are.
While Hunter is excited for Slash to come, he knows that he is a big brother not a parent. While he knows how to change a diaper, he will never ever EVER be forced to do it. He knows how to feed a baby, snuggle and comfort but will never to made to do these things. Even though he is 14, he is still a child and needs to be listening to his radio too loud, riding his bike and torturing the rest of us as only a 14 year old can do.
Hubby and I are hands on parents, we LOVE being a part of every dirty diaper, messy feeding and tantrum. We are responsible for this child that is soon coming. Not my kids, not my Mom, Big Sis or anyone else. US and a we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now this can be a sensitive subject, but it has been bouncing around in my head for so long. I can’t wait for Slash to come, and there are going to be rough moments but I wouldn’t give up a single one of them at the cost of my other children.