Monday night started with Boo asking a question that caused me to catch my breath. A simple question that wasn’t anything shocking, but the way she asked it, the way she started the question hit me hard.
“Now that I am growing up…”
Watching Boo over this summer has been a gut check for me. I think the past few months I have been forcing this fact from my head. It came to me at a friends birthday party when Boo told a friend “I want to be more girly…do you think Mom will be mad”. This put me in my place quickly.
I started realizing that I wasn’t allowing Boo to become her own person. I was pining down the wings she was trying to sprout, the wings she would need to fly. I was trying to shape Boo into the person I wanted her to be, not the person she wanted to be.
My heart aches at the thought of this. But is it what was happening.
Since then…I am working to change my process. I am painting her room the way she wants, with the colors she chose. I am re-working my ideas on who my little girl is.
She is a strong young lady. She is smart, athletic and not graceful. She loves to read, but still groans a bit when I ask her to go read. Boo loves to make up dances, and tell me how many “moves” are in each one. She loves music, and is finding out what kind she likes. She loves to color, but doesn’t worry to much about staying inside the lines (or on the wall when painting…).
Boo adores he brother, misses him like crazy, but knows that his is the way our family is, she is so wise when it comes to that. She loves her teachers, even after only a few days of school. She loves her coaches, for bowling and anything else. She is so willing to love, so open to people and so much more forgiving than I am.
Boo has had her share of hurt, but knows (somehow) that it is part of growing up. She is willing to do whatever we ask, volunteers to do the dishes and take out the garbage even though it isn’t her day.
She is kind, gentle and loving. She is the kind of person I would want her to be, now to let her grow even more.
Boo is growing up. A fact I have to face even though I am not ready.