Some of you may know, but I don’t think most of you do, that I am a Step-Mama to the greatest 10 year old ever. I met T on his 3rd birthday, and fell in love on the spot. He has always been so good to me, so open with his love and affection.
Someone asked me in the past how I handle it, emotionally and mentally. They were not in an easy “step-mama” situation and needed some advise. It is simple really. The child ALWAYS comes first. No matter how you feel about the mother/father, the child comes first. You do not say anything negative, hint at things or grill the child. They are not at fault for anything.
We have spent the past 8 years working and building our relationship with T’s mom and step dad. We may not always agree, but we communicate openly, and honestly. We support each other in decisions and discipline. We work to make transitions easy from house to house. We each have our own expectations for T, but for the most part they are very similar.
When we walk into school meetings, or important doctor appointments, we are 4 strong. We all work to make T a better person, and be the best that he can be. We also stand by him when things are going on, united together for T. He is the most important thing.
I also respect the realtionship he has with his Dad, and his Mom. The one on one time that T has with hubby is so important. They hunt, fish, bowl, batting cages or just throwing the football in the front yard. I steal K away, and they get their time. It matters so much both of them, and makes them talk to each other (which isn’t always easy with a 10 year old). I don’t get in the middle, or question the parents. They have the most important relationship of all. I am the lucky person who gets to love T for what he is, and what he will become.
I know there are a lot of families that aren’t as lucky as we are. They don’t have that relationship with the birth mom/dad. It wasn’t an easy road, but we move a long every day. I am so grateful for the relationship that we have, and hope that more can have it too!
I am so proud to call myself a Step-Mama. It is one of the best things I have even had the chance to do. I wouldn’t trade the past 8 years for the world! Love you
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